Monday, September 24, 2012

When your teacher asks you to explain the plot of a boring movie...

So. Hi.

Sometimes I find myself in a situation where I have to answer a question, I simply have no idea what to reply to. This mostly happens in school. Especially in religion class. 

When my religion teacher asks me to explain the plot of a boring, old-as-ass, uninteresting movie about Islam from about year 1992...

"Caroline, would you please summarize the plot of this movie for us?"

Possible answers:

  • No, I have to puke, bye.
  • I'm sorry, I can't; it's against my religion.
  • I have recently developed heavy diarrhea from the mouth, whenever I talk about something uninteresting; perhaps I shouldn't answer that...
  • I would love to, but I feel it would be selfish of me not to let some of the other students have the pleasure of answering your question...
  • I could, that's true...
  • I'm sorry, Caroline's not here at the moment.
  • You smell like a goat. Stop talking.

Probable answers:
  • It's terrible about those sheep being sacrificed, eh?

Sometimes I think I should take religion class seriously...

Well, fuck that shit, class is over. And no homework. BAHAHAHAHAHA.

(All GIF's courtesy of the genius whatshouldwecallme)

Have a good one, see ya, byeeee.

Thanks for listening,

I Am Roseberry.

Friday, September 7, 2012


So. Hi.

Yeah. I have a lot on my plate at the moment. My life is a high-pressure, loud, steamy Chinese kitchen, with orders being screamed over the counter, chefs and bus boys and waiters tripping all over each other, while the sizzling crackle of braincells frying overpowers any desire to relax. Today's menu consists of  school, homework, concerts looming ahead, music, work and an impending trip across the Atlantic; all to be found in the mass-mob buffet that is my life.

Special features in the Buffet today:

  • Videos of Mitt Romney dancing Gangnam Style
  • Various pictures of half-nude boys
  • Pocket-crack-ups offered from yours truly. (Is there no end to my academic and elitist wit?)

This is going to be one of those posts, that just doesn't make any sense. But hopefully, it will make you crack up. Grab a fork, and dig in to the buffet.

Me when I'm drunk, and my best friend tells me she is fat...
Father in 1976 - His son in 2012

Turtles returning to their mothership :

Zach Galifikanakisdfdfskjfldafædf.....  However you pronounce that.

Okay, so that's it for now, kiddos. Mama's off to bed. Big day tomorrow; intro party at Aurehøj. Tomorrow's menu is slightly more interesting. There's going to be salt to lick, tequila to swig, lemons to bite, first-years to molest, dance floors to be punished, songs to be screamed and hangovers to be acquired. Like I said, big day!

Thanks for listening,

I Am Roseberry.