I A M R O S E B E R R Y
NAME: Caroline Roseberry Koktvedgaard
ALIAS: I Am Roseberry / Carrie
AGE: 15 years young
I LIVE IN: Copenhagen, Denmark.
SOME DAY, I WILL LIVE IN: New York City, Manhattan. There's no other answer.
10 RANDOM THINGS I LOVE TO DO:
- Eating cupcakes with pink icing.
- Laughing so much with my friends, that I can hardly breathe, that I fall off my chair, or that I piss myself.
- Making weird noises to illustrate my points (including, but not limited to: grunting, snorting, miauwing, giggling and making high-pitched voices)
- Playing with my piano instead of really practising.
- Eating "Marshmallow Fluff" with a spoon.
- Biking along the sea in the summer wearing only a tanktop and shorts.
- Watching as many movies as possible on my semi-annual, 10-hour plane ride to the States.
- Eating toast with butter and cinnamon sugar while watching The Holiday.
- Putting on flower-scented handlotion.
- Reading the free, Danish music magazine Gaffa from one end to the other, including all the reviews of CD's (yes, the entire thing).
THIS MEANS SOMETHING TO ME:
Music -- singing it, playing it, listening to it, buying it, touching it, chasing and hunting it, dancing to it, living in it.
Writing -- using it to describe, to tell, to be sarcastic, to be sincere, to dream, and hopefully, to make people laugh, cry, groan, or just feel something, anything.
Love -- I know it sounds.... terribly corny. But it does mean a lot to me, anyway. And it doesn't have to be corny. The love I share with my friends; with my family, when they don't drive me insane; with my classmates; with random strangers, that smile at me on a cold, grey morning; with myself, with the world.
I DREAM ABOUT:
Becoming a musician and/or writer. Living the dream in NYC. Feeling alive all day, every day. Doing things, that are worthwhile, things that matter to me, and finding a way to avoid all the things that don't. Finding myself.
THE STORY OF MY ALIAS, CARRIE ROSEBERRY:
Prepare for the ultimate tale about Caroline Roseberry Koktvedgaard: the girl that reinvented herself, and came out on the other side, more herself than she had ever been.
Carrie Roseberry. I like to think of Carrie as my alter ego. Carrie is me, really. But she's a little more independant, a little stronger, a little more mature, and probably a little prettier too. Carrie can do things, that Caroline never would. She's brave, fierce really, and she's not afraid to stand up for herself. Sometimes I let Carrie take over, figuratively, when I would have thought that I was too scared to even move. Sometimes I get just a little braver -- just a little more Carrie.
So. Why the name, Carrie? Why? Well, my first name is really Caroline. In Denmark, a nick-name for Caroline would be Caro. But in the US, where I currently have half of my life on stand-by, I have never really gotten a nick-name. For the longest time, I didn't even know that there existed one.
I know the name Carrie all too well -- it is, after all, the first name of the infamous (and ficticious) Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie is the name, that single girls everywhere recognize -- Sex and the City is more than an influential TV-show. The four friends, Carrie in particular, inspired my 12-year-old self, when I first discovered SATC, and continue to do so now. The name Carrie stands for being "single and fabulous - exclamation point!". It stands for being strong, true to yourself, and proud of your imperfections. So when I learned that Carrie can be used as a nick-name for Caroline, it seemed almost fitting that I was just a little bit closer to my fictional idol.
Now to the Roseberry-part of it. My mother is a hardcore feminist -- and her maiden name is Roseberry. Usually, when you marry a guy, you take his last name. But not my mom. No, she chose to keep her own last name, as a symbol of her own independance. This is, truly, my mom in a nut-shell. To this day, she insists upon being called Mz. Roseberry. The name Roseberry means something more to me, as well. As you might know, I live in Copenhagen, Denmark. My Danish family name is Koktvedgaard, and that's what I've been using as my last name in Denmark for a while. When I try to tell people, that my name is Roseberry, I get all kinds of responses; "Rosenberg?" No. "Rosemary?" No. "Blueberry?" No, Goddammit! For the longest time, being half Danish and half American simply meant, that I didn't have to do my English homework. But today, Roseberry means more to me. It's one of my frail connections to my American identity. It's an opportunity I hold in my hand, to be someone else than everyone expects me to be. To me, Roseberry is a symbol of independance, of internationality, and of beauty. All things that I want to posses.
Carrie Roseberry. My own name, slightly self-invented, but still something that comes from my name. My name might seem unimportant, but to me, it's not. It's my gateway to Carrie, to that other me, that is more me, than any other me. Did I lose you yet?
WHAT I'D LIKE TO SAY, IS.... :
At the end of the day, I really am just Caroline. A young, half Danish half American girl, living in Copenhagen with her parents and sister and dog. When I'm Caroline, I'm small and insignificant. And that's okay. It's not a negative thing, really, that I don't matter, in the scheme of things. I like my life, I like who I am, or at least, I like who I'm becoming. Granted, everything around me moves very fast, and sometimes the questions just come rolling in. Do you ever ask yourself: "When did my life run off without me?".
That's when I need a little help from Carrie. My alter ego, myself, my idol. At the end of the day, I Am Roseberry, Caroline Koktvedgaard and Carrie are all me. And sometimes, once in a blue moon, when those three me's get together for cocktails and actaully connect... Well, I feel more myself than ever.
Maybe one day, I'll actually introduce myself as myself: "Nice to meet you. I Am Roseberry. But you can call me Carrie."
Thanks for listening,
I Am Roseberry.