10 Reasons For Me To Kill Myself.

So. Hi.

Let me just have a minute! Breathing, breathing, breathing is good, must remember to breathe... In... Out... Where the hell is my paper bag??

Okay, so it's not as drastic as it sounds. But I am taking my oral physics exam. Oral. Fuck my life. Physics. And though I have been reading nonstop for at least 12 hours, I feel like all the words are simply passing by my brain, instead of lodging themselves there, as I would like them to. I would prefer to actually be able to speak actual words at my exam, instead of muttering gibberish (probably while burning my sleeve, or my hair, or perhaps the butt of my teacher).

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1. Oral physics exam for two hours tomorrow.
2. My two best friends have already taken their exams. They both got 12, which is the equivalent of an A. No pressure... FML.
3. Facebook has been bombarded with people writing "12 IN ORAL PHYSICS!!!" all day long. I want to shoot myself every time I see a new status with the combination of the number 12 and "oral physics" in it. (Particularly if it involves a shitload of exclamation points !!!!!!!!)
4. I've been hearing horror stories about physics exams gone wrong. One of my friends litterally set fire to the classroom. Another walked out bleeding from various wounds. By now, I just hope that I come out alive... Will probably end up spilling acid on my teachers face or something.
5. I just realized that I won't be allowed to read from my notes during my exam. I will have 10 minutes to scan my notes. Then: nada. I'll be on my own. Hopelessly clinging to complicated formulas on photosynthesis and whatnot, probably mixing everything up into one big physics/chemistry/biology/french/Guatemalean traditions/How I Met Your Mother/lawn mowing/tap-dancing/completely confused jumble.
6. A sudden fear of having chronic diarrhea (or something equally unpleasant) during my exam has just struck me...
7. All I want to do is lie around in the sun, eat some ice-cream, tan a little, maybe waddle down to the beach, hang out with my friends... But no. Physics exam is what I'll be doing for 2 hours tomorrow. Can't wait!!!!! (dripping with sarcasm)
8. I can't see my poor boyfriend for at least a couple days. Sigh.
9. I am better equipped to take an exam in the finer details, plots, characteristica and distinguishing touches of masterpieces such as House MD., The Vampire Diaries, or even How I Met Your Mother...
10. I'll probably not get a wink of sleep tonight. But will most probably be lying, tossing and turning all night long, thinking of various scenarios in which I manage to a) burn down the classroom, b) pour acid on my teachers face, or c) ramble on about some completely non-related topic, while I should really be talking about glucose or some random shit (kill me, kill me now!)

Baaaaaaaaah. Well, I've tried to calm myself with various things today. Sunshine helped. Good music helped a little more. Texts from nice people made me smile. Fudge saved my day.


I keep reminding myself how lucky I really am. I am genuinely happy right now. For once, I'm quite content with my life. Summer vacation's just around the corner. I'm going to my dream gymnasium, in my dream class, with one of my good friends at my side. I'm in Pigekoret. I have the sweetest boyfriend imaginable. And some lovely, great, whacky friends, that keep me up when I am down. So what can one little physics exam really do to me; really?

I probably won't pick up the knife just yet. After all, how bad can it go?

Shit, that sounded like a jinx, didn't it?

G O O D    L U C K    V I B E S

So, I hope that I don't fail my exams tomorrow. I most probably won't. I just have a knack for panicking. Good thing that I have both music, pictures, friends and fudge to calm me, though.

Thanks for listening,

I Am Roseberry.