Where Is He - Where??

So. Hi.

I have made about a million attempts of finding a soulmate. Yuk - another word, please? Lover. Boyfriend. Friend. Accuaintance. I don't know - someone to make me happy. I have a firm belief, that there exists someone for me. For all of us - there has got to be at least one person out there, that will make you truly happy and fuzzy and warm and all those stupid emotions described in chick-flicks. It's the least we could ask, for there to be just one person out there, for us, that fits us perfectly, and will love us, and make us one half of a whole.

There simply must be that man, that can make the hardcore feminist boss-lady in the big firm want to kiss and cuddle and forget all her ideals.

There must be a little lady for the constructionworker on the side of the road, a girl he longs to come home to and share a dinner of steak and potatoes with.

Surely there must be a special guy for the sweet, clearly gay little teacher at my school -- someone who can make him just as frantic with excitement as he becomes, when he talks about physics.

Are we crazy to think that true love really exists for all of us? Have we gone nuts from listening to all the great love stories in the world, romantisizing how love really occurs?

For me, I don't know. In all the books and movies, it's obvious to the person observing the two characters, that they are completely right for each other, or that the girl should just dump that dumb guy who doesn't love her, and take her sweet best friend instead. I can't count how many million times I have read a book and have thought: "No, bitch! Not him, don't kiss him, it's all wrong, don't you dare choose him over him!"... Of course, in stories we all know, that we can't have our happily ever after until the very end. At the start of the book/movie, we can almost guess which character will end up with who, what mistakes they'll make, that they will indeed make up and marrie each other at the end.

But how do we know? In real life, that is? How do we know, when the happily ever after has come? When we've finally hooked up with the right person? If happily ever after's work according to manuscript, you can't meet this guy until the very end - but how long do you have to wait? Does this mean, that you can't find true love at 18? 15? 11? 6? And, if we don't notice our Prince Charming while we're with him, are there more than one possible happily ever after for each person?

I hope he's out there somewhere. At some point, I might have the luck to meet him. I have to believe that I will. On the other hand, If I never do meet him, I can always tell myself, that he simply must be out there. The next date, the next boyfriend - he'll be the one. What is there to believe in, otherwise? Single guys with bad breath, bad jokes, bad clothes, bad hair-cuts and bad attitude? There must at least excist one nice, cool, handsome, well-dressed, friendly, funny, straight guy in the universe. There must be such a man for each woman. That's what I think. He's got to be out there.

But where is he - where??

Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone.

- C. S. Lewis

Thanks for listening,

I Am Roseberry